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It’s the last day of 2009, and as I said in my traditional intro to my traditional last post of the year, a lot of people will be greeting  2010 with tongues like a crocodile’s crutch, hemorrhaging eye-balls and swollen, pulsating brains.

Because it’s de rigeur to get legless.

But before I go any further, as I also posted last year, what’s the best cure for a hang-over? Don’t get pissed in the first place. If you insist, though, when you regain consciousness:

• Bang your head against something hard. The pain will definitely overwhelm the hangover pain, but only until you stop. Then it’ll be 10 times worse.
• Hypnotise yourself. Stand in front on the mirror, stare fixedly at your green-tinged image and repeat,  in a determined voice, ‘I am not going to die, I am not going to die, I am not going to die.’

But if the agony persists, forget ‘Take two soft-boiled Asprin”. Or even Ibuprofen.

Says the the Unofficial Student Manual, “Aspirin should never be taken before, after, or during a drinking session.  Alcohol already irritates you gastrointestinal tract and aspirin just increases the acidity that can cause internal bleeding.”

Recommendations from health911.com include >>>

• Activated charcoal Take one tablet of activated charcoal per drink while you are drinking. The charcoal absorbs the impurities in the alcohol which are the cause of the hangover. The charcoal also absorbs important nutrients, so if you are a heavy drinker, don’t use this remedy daily as you will end up with nutritional deficiencies.
• Bananas One of the quickest ways to cure a hangover is to make a banana milkshake sweetened with honey. The banana helps calm the stomach, and with the honey, builds up the depleted blood sugar levels. The milk soothes the stomach and rehydrates your system. Bananas are also rich in the important electrolytes, magnesium and potassium, which are severely depleted during heavy drinking.
• B-vitamins Take the vitamins before you go to bed and let them work their magic while you sleep. If you forget, take them immediately upon arising. B-Vitamins are important in aiding the carbohydrate (alcohol) metabolizing process and in dilating blood vessels. B-vitamins will help restore your energy level. You will need to take a high-potency B-complex supplement for this remedy to work (50-75 mg of B-complex twice a day, hopefully once before bed after indulging).
• Honey Take 2-6 teaspoonfuls of honey every twenty minutes upon awaking, depending on the severity of the hangover. Continue with the honey until you start to feel better, then take four teaspoonsful with your first meal. The potassium in the honey helps counteract the effects of the alcohol and will decrease the cravings for it. Alcoholic drinks are acidic in reaction and satisfy your natural desire for an acid, the same as coffee and tea do. If you have an alcohol problem, check your body chemistry and make appropriate changes in diet and supplementation. In addition, honey contains fructose, a type of sugar that helps your body metabolize alcohol more quickly.
• Prickly pear cactus (Opuntia ficus indica) extract has been found to relieve hangover nausea and dry mouth according to researchers at Tulane University and the University of California, San Francisco. Prickly pear is known to reduce inflammation, and hangover symptoms are due to an increase in inflammation. Researchers found that C-reactive protein, a marker for inflammation, was 40% higher in the group that took a placebo. The extract was taken five hours before alcohol consumption.
• Scalp stimulation Pull your hair in clumps so that your full scalp is stimulated. This remedy brings blood to the scalp and relieves the headache. [Note: This does NOT say "pull your hair OUT in clumps," although you might be tempted.]
• Vitamin C stimulates the liver to break down the alcohol. Take 2-10 gm per day in divided doses. Start at 1,000 mg an hour and built up to bowel tolerance. An excess of vitamin C can cause diarrhea, and since you probably have stomach distress already too much C may cause a problem.

Meanwhile, says the student manual  >>>

1. Drink water before bed (about 1 liter) along with Vitamins C, E, and a multi-vitamin.  If that doesn’t work then try a Chocolate or your favorite flavored Milk Shake the next day. It works wonders plus it tastes great. Water, water, water is the number one cure from our panel of experts.
2. Drink loadz of water the next day. This will help to “get rid of” some of the excess alcohol along with the excess water. The only side effect is you’ll spend most of your day on the porcelain.
3. Eat something that is easy for your body to digest such as grapes and toast helps speed up recovery.
4. Raw eggs, if it doesn`t make you feel better, it`ll make you throw up and that should make you feel better.
5. For all those sporty students out there who happen to be studying by the seaside a quick dip in the sea will numb your nerves so you don`t feel a thing as well as get rid of that pounding headache.  The salt could also make you puke the unwanted alcohol.
6. More Sugar. This helps because alcohol breaks down sugar stores in the liver that need to be replaced. Without these sugar stores we often feel light-headed and weak.
7. Tomatoes!  Don`t ask me why this works, but it tends to do miracles.  This is why a bloody mary and V8`s are so popular as they are packed with nutrients.  Try some basic tomato sauce or pasta sauce on spaghetti.  This is quite easy on the stomach and has incredible results.
8. Coffee.  Contrary to popular belief, coffee is not a sobering agent, but the caffeine can constrict the enlarged blood vessels in your head that cause that blinding headache.  If you are a heavy coffee drinker, then not having your regular cup could cause added headache through the typical withdrawal symptoms.  However, coffee will intensify your dehydration so don’t forget to drink twice as much water as coffee.
9. A cold washcloth.  Much like coffee, a cold, wet towel can also help constrict the enlarged blood vessels in your head.
10. A classic but goody is the cool refreshing taste of an energy drink.  The electrolytes and sugar will speed your recovery and absorption of the alcohol.

And finally >>>

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